Counselor Adofoli Writes: I Love You But I Don’t Trust You


One of the most beautiful lines you hear from people in love is “but, I love you” and one of the most painful line is “I love you, but I DON’T TRUST YOU”. No matter how much you love someone, never marry them if you don’t trust them. It doesn’t matter the sacrifice you made or how long you have come.

You can’t have a relationship without trust. One of the reasons why Judas Iscariot killed himself was not only because he betrayed Jesus Christ, but also because he lost the relationship he had with Him and the disciples.

Love without trust is like rice without stew. It is tasteless and you end up with malnutrition. A marriage without trust is like a phone without network. It is useless and reduces it to a piece of toy for playing games.

When you don’t trust your lover, you don’t believe in them or stand by them; you ignore them and take them for granted. One thing you need to know is that, what is taken for granted will eventually be lost or take away.

In life people don’t care for those who are ignoring them but rather they care for those who are ignoring others for them. Once your partner is ignored, they end up going out of the relationship to look for the one who will care for them.

We live in a lonely world, in which not everyone really cares about you, cares to know you or will stand by you. The truth is, people think stepping on you will give them the raise they need to be ahead of you in life.

Some believe lying about you will cause you to be rejected so they will be accepted. We live in a world where people fake smiles and act love. Out of all these people, you are just looking for one person to stand with. How will it feel to find someone you can’t stand by? Will they stand by you?

Many singles are dating people they don’t trust yet don’t want to let go of such relationships, with the hope that their partners might change or won’t repeat what happened. Marriage is a holy institution, you can’t have a lasting marriage with a partner you don’t trust.

It’s a mistake to think that any person you date will lead to marriage or is the right person. People are not honest to tell you they are coming into your life for a bite and not for a meal. They won’t tell you they have no plan of staying so don’t get too attached to them. Once they tell you they have no intention of staying, you won’t give them your precious time to waste.

This is why you need to watch and pray. Observe and examine. If the one you are dating does things to make you doubt or suspect them, it should tell you they are not the right person.

The right person is truthful, he or she has nothing to hide from you. The truth is like fire, you might be surprised to know fire has no shadow. The truth has no shadow. Fire is light, there is no darkness in light. In truth there is no playground; you play you get burned. Just as you can’t buy food for someone you don’t trust, don’t find love in a person you don’t trust.

In conclusion “A true witness never lies; a false witness makes a business of it” – Proverbs 14:5 (MSG).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.


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